how are you gonna sit here and tell me not to fall for you but yet you sweet talk the shit out of me… I DON’T GET IT.
I hate when people get way too involved in one little thing and then just fuck the rest.. like nothing else matters anymore. I don’t get it. I mean, maybe I’ve just never been put in that type of a situation before but I see it happening more and more.
I feel like no one even cares anymore. Like I’m the only fucking one trying. It shouldn’t be like this. I shouldn’t feel like shit constantly and have to put on a fake smile and act like nothing’s wrong. I feel everything slowly falling apart and I don’t know why. Everyone close to me is drifting away and I have a part in that but mostly because we no longer have that much in common. I feel like I can’t make everyone happy. I either make my parents happy, or my friends happy. It can never be both. I miss out on so much. I don’t even feel like I’m a part of my friends’ lives anymore. I’m tired of the secrets and people feeling the need to hide things from me. No one opens up to me anymore. I feel like I don’t know anything about anyone. It’s not supposed to be like that. I don’t know what I did. Am I pushing myself away from them or are they pushing me away or has things always been like this? I don’t remember things always being like this. I’m just tired of not being happy with what I have in my life. I miss how things used to be.